Finger Hurts

Is my finger broken? I doubt it. But it is so swollen that I can't put my ring on it nor can I bend it. It just kind of sits there.

This happened during volleyball, obviously. I go up to block a ball and, being lazy (and very stupid), just point my hand towards the player. This is dangerous because if she hits into your hand, you can break some fingers. Which is what happened to me. It felt like I had held my hand out and rammed it up full force against a wall, it hurt so bad. After cursing and putting on a show in front of the sixteen year olds and their parents we were scrimmaging against, I had to go back and keep playing.

I'm not too thrilled with the idea of having a broken finger and only having two weeks left of the last season of volleyball before college. I suppose I had been asking for it, since I had been complaining about burn-out for the past month or so. Yes, I had been complaining (as I always do) about playing volleyball and just wanting to give up because it's frustrating playing with the same people for ten years. Burn out is the last thing I want in my career. I don't want to go out remembering how much I hated playing in tournaments and the spectacular lack of effort I gave, despite having natural talent. To me, burn out is one of the saddest occurences in sports. It may not top getting a career-ending injury, but it's up there.

Athletes who have an innocent love for the game are being turned against their sports by years of overuse and emotional stress. Sometimes, there's a good practice, or game, but it isn't enough. It's all just disappointing after awhile. When you really know you should take off next season in order to gain back some appreciation for the sport, but you can't because a season is ten months, and that's too long. I get it.

So, yes, my finger hurts, but, no, I won't be skipping any practices. I have to finish this miserable season out, and then I'll be home free. I just hate the mentality that I've developed from this experience.